Just Another New Year's Ugh

I am not good at this New Year's thing. More so than even my birthday, the turn to a new year forces me to reflect on time far more than I'd like. I'd rather keep moving, rather than counting time that way. I'd rather be doing than thinking about what I've done.

Yet, forced by the circumstances around me, I glance back at the past year. I feel the exhaustion of twelve months of politics I'd rather not experience, much less immerse myself in with each work day. I feel the growing up of children and the aging of adults. I ache for the events that are over, and I dread slightly the ones to come. And yet, in the midst of it all, I glimpse the moments that shaped my year--the out-of-the-blue emails and coffees, and the opportunities that came from them, the instances when my kids and I really clicked, the new people who entered my life, and the new things I allowed myself to discover.

I would still rather be doing than thinking, still rather it be the week after New Year's than that Eve or day. But it turns out that I have a success or two to carry me into the new year. It turns out that the surprises of 2017 suggest that there will be surprises in every year, if I allow myself to see them. So, I happily forge into 2018. Now that the "New Year's" is over, let the new year begin.