Due Dates

Having reached that point in the summer when a whole city has presumably decided to do the summer reading, we got a notice from the library that the summer reading book we'd borrowed (yay us for having checked it out early on!) would be due back, no renewal possible. So if it wasn't finished now, we'd have to buy the book or scour libraries all over--a daunting task. And by golly, by 4:30pm, the book was finished and returned.
 
Now, I suppose that by paying a few days worth of fines, we could have extended that deadline. But the due date provided just the amount of motivation needed to get the job done.
 
The whole experience has kind of made me wish that the public library could put due dates on a few other things in my life. For, while I may not have a school child's penchant for procrastination (well, maybe sometimes I do), one of the most challenging things about both underemployment and job searching is the complete lack of any due date. We can work toward something each day, but one day tends to blend into another. We can set goals, but we have little external oversight about our reaching those goals. We can apply to jobs posted today, but we can also get caught up in a process that lasts for many days.
 
Clearly, the due dates of life can be slightly more challenging than the due date of a library book. But either way, when we have a due date, we have more of a direction. When we have a due date, we can often focus better, work better, accomplish better.
 
In life, especially underemployed life, it is up to us to set, and live by, the due dates. It's not easy. But when we can hold ourselves accountable, as would the librarian behind the desk, we may find that our reading, and a whole lot more, has a better chance of being completed, without fines, and on time.

Abandon

I watch my daughter be completely absorbed in Pac-man. The world disappears as her little yellow video character gobbles up dots as fast as her hands can move. She plays with complete abandon.
 
I watch my son as he plays Minecraft, for a time completely absorbed in its block-ish world. He too plays with sheer abandon.
 
As I watch them, I find myself wishing I could do something--anything--with such abandon. For me, however, that abandon comes packaged with the feeling that I am abandoning my responsibilities, abandoning the family members and other people who need me. I may marvel at how they can lose themselves to these or other pursuits, even just briefly, but it is rarely a trip I can take myself.
 
And then I realize that while I may never really be able to abandon my responsibilities, there actually are moments and days when I step away just a bit. When I let myself enjoy a weekend, when I allow myself to sleep a little longer or eat a little more--perhaps this is my version of "abandon." When I break into song, or compose a blog post while standing at a bus stop, that is my version of "abandon."
 
We can't always have a child's freedom to step away, but when we embrace the experiences that come our way, we can feel a bit of that child-like abandon. And sometimes, allowing for a little abandon doesn't make us abandon our responsibilities at all. It simply returns us more able to face those responsibilities. And face the creepers or the ghosts or whatever it is that tries to block our path.

A Job Well Done

When you are at a job, the job is clear. There are goals to accomplish, deadlines to meet. When you are between jobs, your "job" is far less clear...
 
Is a job well done sending as many resumes and emails as possible, or actually getting a response?
 
Is a job well done accomplishing personal business, or accomplishing job search business?
 
Is a job well done doing for your kids while you are with them, or having them do for themselves so that you can do what you need to?
 
Is a job well done sleeping late because you need the rest, or waking up early because you need the time?
 
Is a job well done learning something new, or remembering something old?
 
Is a job well done about the money you make, or about the feelings you feel?
 
Is a job well done about getting the best job, or about finding the best balance?
 
Is a job well done making your kids feel secure, or helping them become independent?
 
Is a job well done success at the end of a day, or just steps taken toward another day?
 
Clearly, a job well done is not always a one-day task...

Underemployed

I rarely missed a birthday or a school event. I took days off to be there for the big stuff, and went in late sometimes so I wouldn't miss the little stuff. I was working many hours, but I worked hard to be not working when it counted.

Underemployment doesn't schedule itself around birthdays and events, so these days, I may be there for the big stuff, but I am also there for the really little stuff--not so much the occasions, but the minutes and days in between. The hours of "what should we do today?" summer vacation, the mornings of "what's for breakfast?" and the late afternoons of too little coffee to keep up. The conversations not just about the earth-shattering, but about the mundane as well. Underemployment may not put you in the middle of every important event, but it most certainly puts you in the middle of the daily events of life, the events you missed, or left to the babysitter, while you worked toward the occasions. Underemployment allows--forces--you to get through those mornings and afternoons, which are not always easy. But it also puts you at the scene of the everyday triumphs and tribulations. I may not have been home for every first step or new word all those years ago, but I am present for today's new discoveries. And when I'm not busy bemoaning underemployment or working to change it, I can actually appreciate the older "first steps" that I am getting to see.

I don't wish underemployment on anyone. I may have missed things in my days of working continuously, but the security and stability of that situation--and my commitment to making it work--was something I really miss. But for now, I am trying to see the bit of good in underemployment--some quality moments spent, a money lesson taught, my attention given when it was needed. Underemployment doesn't schedule itself around your occasions or your needs, but it can create an opening for you to be there. And for what I hope will be just a few moments in time, I am holding on to that opening, and to the chances it is giving me.

I'm Listening

The alarm is ringing so that I can start my day on time, and I'm listening.

The birds are announcing the new day, and when the air conditioning doesn't drown them out, I'm listening.

The weather report is screaming both "go out" and "stay in," and I'm listening.

The brownies in my fridge are talking to me--I swear!--and I'm listening.

Twenty-something years of work are trying to remind me that I'm good, and I'm trying to listen.

Twenty-something years worth of former colleagues remind me that I can make a difference, and I sometimes remember to listen.

The voice of social media shouts that to be heard, you have to speak up, so I'm listening (and speaking).

Doors will open more often if you knock, so I'm knocking more often, and listening for that slowly turning doorknob.

Learning will happen more often if you keep your mind, eyes, and ears open, so I'm listening (and looking and learning).

I may be needed when I least expect it, so I'm listening for the call.

I may be called when I assume I'm no longer needed, so I'm listening for the unexpected.

Life may sound different than I thought that it would, so I'm listening...

Short-Termers

Today, I found myself in a conversation about the increasing number of short-term jobs out there, and the stress of having to land a new job over and over. Funny thing is, we weren't talking about television production. It turns out that one of the biggest challenges of my work life is mirrored everywhere. No longer does getting a job mean being secure for any sort of long haul. No longer does getting a job mean getting a break from being the best self-marketing expert out there. As my conversation partner put it, in order to survive in this new work world, you need to be able to go out there over and over saying that you are the best and smartest person for the job and that it would be silly for an employer to hire anyone else.
 
Now, there's nothing wrong with being able to market yourself. It is, in fact, probably one of the most important skills a person in any field can have. But when an employment model favors that skill so strongly over the skills needed to accomplish the tasks of a particular field, it makes me wonder. When you have to spend far more time getting a job than you may actually spend having that job, it makes me question a system that values salesmanship over real quality of work.
 
Today's conversation made me feel lucky for the long-term jobs I've had. It made me feel both relieved that I am far from alone, and angry that so many other people are spending more days trying to sell themselves than being able to add value by working in their fields. I may not be able to change a system, but I just have to wonder--when does being good become good enough? When does it stop being about selling yourself, and start being about working at what you love or do well? I can't fix the system, but I can wonder, and write about it...

Eyes Wide...

I am an early riser, eager to get things done before the day escapes. I figure that's just how you have to be if you are to see opportunities and be able to act on them. Eyes wide open, and you'll see what's out there, right?
 
Sometimes, however, it is hard to keep looking. Sometimes, it just feels better to shut your eyes to all of it, to put aside where you could be and just settle in where you are, to stop trying to look far ahead and simply focus on right here.
 
Eyes wide open allow you to see where you could be, but also force you to see how far away that is. Eyes wide open let in the light of a new path, but also reveal that you may not have the skills to navigate that path. Eyes wide open let you see what you want to see, but also force you to see the things you might not want to see.
 
So perhaps there are days when eyes are better used for just a glance here or there, rather than a wide open search. Perhaps there are days when the narrower view is enough to handle. There will be days when our eyes will need to be wide open. But sometimes, it's not so terrible to let our view be just a little bit smaller.