Still Getting In

Sometimes, it feels as though we spend half our lives "getting in." Getting in to the right preschool ("Can you play nicely," "Do your parents fit in?"). Getting in to the right kindergarten ("Have you learned to use scissors and to place beads in size order, and to know what pictures are not like the others?"). Getting in to the right middle school ("Are the grades and test scores you weren't even thinking about good enough for our school?" and (hey, this sounds familiar) "Can you work well with others?"

And just when you think you've managed pretty well, despite all the potential calamities, you are faced with the "getting in's" that some might argue REALLY matter--high school and college. I mean, who in the world really cares where you went to preschool, right? Or even middle school? But somehow, high school and college feel a lot closer to life. Mess one up, and you're messing with the life of an adult, not a four or ten year old. Mess one up, and you change the course of someone's history.

Okay, that's a little dramatic, but I guess that's my point. At each stage of life when we are faced with jumping through hoops to get what we want, we really do believe that our performance and our decision at that point will change the course of our history. And not just change it for next week, but change it permanently, irreparably. It's not untrue--each step we take builds the path we travel. Yet, at each point, whether it's school, or work, or life, we have the chance to alter our steps. The "getting in" may decide a lot of things, but it doesn't have to freeze in time who we are and what we might become.

So, as my family and I hunker down for more rounds of "getting in," I try to remember that it matters, but that it doesn't define us forever. I try to remember that it's worth a lot of time, but not too, too much trauma. And I try to remember that on the other side, there will still be steps to take, and futures to create. And a whole lot more "getting in" still to get through.