Exercising Muscles

Thanks to a non-gym-related injury last month (let's just say, unstable chairs and kids don't mix well), I haven't set foot on the elliptical in many weeks. Though I am much better now, each day away makes it harder to walk to the gym in the dark early morning hours. I'm hoping that my desire to go everywhere on foot and my need to keep up with my son's scooter will keep the muscles from going completely south. It's hard to keep up anything you don't do regularly.

My husband and others often wonder how I can come up with something to say in this blog every day.  I'll admit, there are days when it's a challenge, either to have a topic, or to express what's going on in a way that's bloggable--that is, appropriate for reading by the assorted friends, relatives, and potential employers who might check it out on any given day. And yet, like making sure homework is done or starting the dishwasher (wow, those sound mundane!), it is something I commit to doing each day, and my ability to craft a topic, even on a day when no topic is obvious, has increased, just as my time on the elliptical was increasing when I was still going to the gym every day. Muscles get stronger when we use them regularly, and, while I have considered myself a writer for years, these days, I am a writer with stronger muscles because I have pushed myself, even on the days when I don't know what to say, or on the nights I'd rather just fall into bed.

While I accept that my stronger gym muscles are unlikely to turn me into a personal trainer, I would like to think that my stronger writing muscles will help me push open some new doors (pun intended).

One of the interesting things about this past year, a year that began with the end of One Life to Live and ended with what appears to be the show's new beginning, is that I've had the time to exercise some new muscles--leg, head, and otherwise. And, one way or the other, no matter what crazy direction this new year takes, I can say that I'm starting it with my muscles exercised.  And with stronger muscles, how can the rest of me feel anything but strong?

Full Week Ahead!

I'm a little nervous tonight.  After a week and a half of kids on vacation and a shortened school week after, we are heading into a full-blown five-day week.  All the pieces of a real school week, plus the added challenges of new play rehearsals, a few hard tests, and a Friday with five events on the calendar.  And all of that is outside of any job related interactions, interviews, or bookings.  I'm trying not to be exhausted already.

I used to spend a chunk of Sunday typing a detailed email outlining the week's activities for our babysitters, then replying when they asked for clarification (or more often, reminded me of things I'd forgotten).  There was something very comforting about having "members of my team" for the week's adventures.  If they believed all the transporting, however complicated, was possible, then I could believe that too.  These days, I am a captain without a crew, here now, doing each day's transport, but without a crew to celebrate with me when it works and help swab the deck when it doesn't. This is, by no means, a new situation this week, but after a few weeks of slower seas, this captain's just a little worried about rough waters.  Will we really be able to keep up with all the commitments we've made?  Will we get places on time and have time for homework too?  Will this be the week that does us all in?

More likely, it will come and go quickly, just as so many weeks have before and so many will after.  We will quickly forget that 5 days is long.  We will do what needs to be done to get everyone everywhere on time AND home again at the end of each day. And at week's end, we will celebrate AND swab the deck with each other, because that's what families do.

And then, maybe we'll all collapse until the next full week begins.

Sleep and Sweden

I met a woman who is visiting her family in NY for a few months because in her native Sweden, during these few months, it gets light at 9am and dark again by 3.  She said that when she's there, she sleeps a lot.  Who wouldn't, when so much of the day was dark?

Who wouldn't?  My kids, that's who!

Now, my oldest is a "don't want to sleep" kid from way back. When she was a baby, she needed rocking to sleep, and if you put her down before her little legs were completely asleep, you'd be rocking her all over again.  But my second welcomed being put down in her crib for the night--as if she'd had enough of us for one day.  And my third spent most of his first few months sleeping in a carrier on my chest (I remember, because my friend, who had had a baby at the same time, could never get her baby to doze off for more than fifteen minutes at a time, for what seemed like ever).

So, why is it that nobody in my house wants to sleep now?

Sometimes, it's homework, I get that.  But most of the time, it's independent of that, AND independent of any knowledge they have of needing to wake up early the next morning.  Can these really be MY children, when I totally relate to the Swedish woman?  Darkness is a step toward sleep.  (Perhaps I could just shut off lights inside to reinforce that).  There are nights when I can barely stay awake long enough to finish the blog that I should have competed earlier in the day, yet, there are my children, awake, perhaps fearing that they'll miss something.  What could they possibly miss besides the "Momster" me I become late at night?  Or the nagging me who interrupts their sleep when I wake them up the next morning?

For tonight, I ask only to finish writing. If I don't have to wake them to go somewhere tomorrow, they can awake away. As long as they don't disturb my snooze while they're doing it.

Let's Put on a Show!

My daughters are both musical theater fanatics.  So much so, that there is almost always a musical theater selection being sung or played in our apartment.  So much so, that one of them wanted only theater tickets for Chanukah (which didn't really happen).  So much so, that that they are both in rehearsals for musical theater productions.  Different musical productions.  Different locations, different performance dates, different rehearsal schedules.  Even when they were in the same show in the fall, their school schedules required that they be in different casts of the show, so again, different just about everything.  And with new opportunities popping up every day, there are times when there are multiple shows for one or both of them.

Now, for a family who has juggled 3 different schools for, well, all the years we've had 3 kids in school, this shouldn't seem too unusual.  But as I sat at the dinner table laying out next week's transportation needs for all the various rehearsals, needs that could easily fill up a flow chart, I was struck by how complicated things can get when you let your kids--not just let, encourage--your kids to do all the exciting things that are put in front of them.  

There was a time when I barely participated in all of the logistics, except for making up a full page note detailing the week's needs for one or more babysitters who would do the daily carting of children.  Oh, and doing damage control when a sitter fell through at the last minute or a pickup time changed.  These days, I tend to do at least some of the schlepping myself, which, you would think, would make me think twice about letting the kids take on activities.  

Apparently, it has done the opposite.  Is it "Supermom" complex--my desire to prove that I CAN do it?  Is it Mommy guilt--a desire to make sure the kids miss out on nothing (even when there are far too many possibilities for any kid ever to do it all)?  Or is it my uncanny ability to leap into what sounds good without first analyzing all the ramifications of the leap?

I'm not sure, but I am fairly sure I'm not alone in this.  Given the number of mothers I see running around daily, I think we probably all try a bit too hard for our kids, then absorb the consequences, some weeks with a smile, others, well, not so much.  I figure for me, there will come a day when either I once again can't participate in the schlepping, or when the kids will be too old to need any schlepping, so if I can do it now, I want to give the kids as much of the advantage of that as possible.

And hey, I like musical theater too, so if I can see a show (or 7 performances of a show) and make a child happy, isn't that a win-win situation?

Obsession and Diversion

The process of getting oneself noticed in the world is not an easy one, and there are days when I am nothing less than obsessed with making that happen.  Unfortunately, while obsessions sometimes lead to successes, they very often just remain obsessions, which is why it's very important to have diversions, to stop obsession in its tracks (of course, only during the times when success is not coming!)
 
To that end, I have adopted a pet (children are certainly diversions, but they go to school, and sometimes I need the diversion during school hours.  I would like to say that housework is a diversion, but it hasn't consistently worked so far.)
 
So--the pet.  While my kids and husband have been lobbying for a cat for years, that would be more of a responsibility than a diversion.  We have fish (and a lovely crayfish!), but I have never spent a lot of time doting on them (is it even possible to dote on a fish?).  I had a bad gerbil experience as a child, and dogs aren't allowed in our building without special permission.
 
My pet is a Webkinz--this furry little stuffed animal who came with a tag entitling me to set up and furnish a virtual house and play games to earn virtual money to buy the little guy presents.  I believe it took me longer to choose a name for my pet than it took to name any of my children.  But now named, he is a mascot of sorts, and when I am frustrated or at a loss as to how to proceed, a little petting of his fur or playing one of the games is an excellent diversion.  Which leaves me able to return to the task at hand, somewhat less obsessed.  Which is very good.

As long as I don't become obsessed with any of those games...

Quiet

My kids went back to school today.  It wasn't easy.  After ten days of sleeping in, 5:00am for me and 6:00am for them was really early, but we did it, and with the exception of one bus being late and one being early, it all went pretty smoothly.

I thought I would be glad to have the apartment back to myself for the day.  No computer game sounds, no sibling fights that I had to mediate.  And the desk and the computer all to myself.

So, I came home from bus dropoffs, my son's scooter in hand, sat down at the computer, checking in with job sites and Facebook friends.  It was really quiet.  Really, really quiet.

It was a productive day (well, not according to my written schedule--I didn't follow it too closely), but as lunchtime passed, and I ate alone, I found myself watching the clock for when it would be time to meet buses.  I was finally free of kid chaos, and I couldn't wait to have it back!

When everyone was back from school, there was some chaos, but judging by the fact that the kids largely got along and were happy to do assorted projects at home, I think maybe they missed me (or at least the vacation togetherness) a little too.

Before we know it, we will be inundated with activities again, and I am sure that then, I really will appreciate the quiet.  But for today, I'd much rather appreciate my kids.

Poster Lessons

I spent a good part of today helping my son make his winter break social studies poster.  I expected to learn a lot about Weather and Climate in the U.S.  And I did.  But what surprised me was how much the process taught me (well, at least reminded me) about people skills.  A whole lot of facts might have resulted in a perfectly fine poster. It was the people skill stuff that made a poster both my son and I could be proud of.

So, here are a few of the things I learned:
 
1. A little patience goes a long way.  A lot of patience keeps you going when the way is long.
 
2. Always remember to praise what's right, even if you also have to correct something that's not.  We all know how disheartening, even debilitating, it can be when our best efforts aren't received as perfect, yet we are very quick to correct the efforts of others. And there I was, zeroing in on the witch vs. which and the were vs. where, before I said anything about the interesting weather content.
 
3. If you're amazed by something, say so.  It makes everyone feel better.  I spent my own poster-making youth barely able to draw a straight line with a ruler, much less, fit all the necessary big block letters on the straightish line.  My son wrote his six-word poster title across the top of the poster, freehand, and ended up with equal white spaces on either end.  Wow.
 
4. Take a time out (not a punishment, just some time out). Again, it makes everyone feel better (and in the end, it often gets the job done faster than struggling right through).
 
5. Congratulate your co-workers when the job is done.  (A high-five works too, especially with 8-year old boys.)  No matter what you've been through on the job, this generally makes you want to work together again on the next job.
 
So, back to school my son will go tomorrow, rolled up poster in hand (2 days ahead of the deadline, because he's worried, and rightfully so, that it will get lost or destroyed at home!). While we were working, he talked about wanting the poster to be really good, since it was not just his first poster at his new school, but his first school poster ever.  Add that to the "what I've learned" list.  Even at the age of eight, it's important to make a good first impression!