Yesterday, I finished an at-home work project, one that had been
occupying found hours each day for weeks. There were days when it seemed
it would go on for months, despite deadlines that told me otherwise. And
yet, today, as I had time for doing more of it, but no more of it to
do, I felt an odd sense of loss, a sense of longing for this work that
had filled all those hours.
I guess that is the difference between working somewhere for someone and
working at home for a lot of someones. When you're going somewhere,
there is always that somewhere to go, no matter where you are in a
project. When you're working on your own, you create your own walls,
your own project boundaries, your own time. I always thought I would
like that "your own" part, and some days, I do. Creating my own work
boundaries means that I can meet buses and do errands on my own
schedule. But it also means that I must make that schedule, and deal
with the emptiness in its gaps, and sometimes, that makes me just long
for the days of living someone else's schedule and having many fewer
gaps.
There will be new projects, and new schedules, and this moment of
feeling loss will pass. It's just one more moment in a freelance life.
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