Out Into The World

I put the first draft of my children's book chapter out into the world today. (For those of you who may not have read a few weeks ago, I am part of a group of writers co-writing a middle grade chapter book). When I say "out into the world," I really just mean to the group members who are partnering with me to read and edit. But it might as well have been the world when I hit "send." Though I realized that this was simply a step in the process, and that the people to whom I was sending my draft would also be taking the leap of sending me theirs, I couldn't help but gasp just a little when I heard that "whoosh" sound, and gasp a little more when responses to my missive entered my inbox.
 
You would think I'd be tougher. I mean, each day I send a post out into the world (and by "world," here I mean a potentially very large group of people.) There are some days when I hesitate, and others when I post and move on. But this chapter book is a new experience. Who would have thought that in writing a fictional character, I was exposing more of myself than I do writing about my own life every day?
 
Along with the emails from my partners saying that they look forward to reading my chapter are their own chapters--perhaps sent with similar trepidation. Over the next week, as they read and edit my chapter, I will be reading and editing theirs. I know I will have many "aha" moments when I see what my co-writers have done, and a little part of me dares to hope that they will have an "aha" moment or two while reading mine. There will be moments when I feel like a hack, and moments when I feel as though I've really found something. It's scary and risky--and exciting. And somehow, if I can stand the fear and the risk, my work will be part of a book that will have "aha" moments from each us. And will go out into the world. This time the real, 8-12 year old world.