Five-Year Plan

Full disclosure--I have never had one of these. Not a six-month plan or a one-year plan or a ten-year plan either. So, as I realize that it was today, five years ago, that we shot the last scenes of One Life to Live at ABC, I can't be too surprised that my last five years have been nothing like what I imagined at the time.

There was the period of pursuing children's media (and the absolute belief that the end of One Life was the sign that I was meant to do that). There was the shot at writing for children (and the absolute belief that if I worked at it and put myself in the company of the right people, I could succeed). There was the despair from lack of work and income, and the toying with giving up television altogether. There was the bright light of a soap rebirth that went out far too quickly. There were calls out of the blue for gigs that lasted five minutes and gigs that lasted two years. There was the discovery of new friends, and new skills, and resilience I never imagined I could have. And suddenly, five years had passed, and many, many things had changed.

But as I ponder how five years can just pass, with or without a plan, I am struck by how, with all that has changed, some things remain--

I still feel it when I hear a "Lifer" is sick or gets married or has a baby. I still want to know where my fellow "Lifers" have ended up (whether "ended up" means working or living). And I still remember moments of that last day, though so many years and so many events have passed since.

Perhaps I had some kind of a plan that day. But five years later, I am still just following the path on which I ended up, and trying to make sense of it each day. And I guess that is yet another thing I share with all my fellow "Lifers."