You're The Boss, Right?

In a conversation with one of the handymen in my building, he told me that his "weekend" (a midweek two-day break) would start soon. "My schedule," I told him, "is different every week." 

"Well, you're the boss, right?" he asked, to which I laughed, "No. Not even close." Not that it mattered that much to him, but I think he was genuinely surprised.

There was a time, a long time ago, when I would have thought that by now, I would be the boss. There was a time, less long ago, when I was out of work and thought I might be my own boss. But years pass, and things happen, and bills have to be paid and kids have to be raised. And today, all these years later, I am nowhere near being the boss.

I could have walked away from this conversation feeling like a failure. After all, there were years when I seemed to be moving up, when I made mental lists of people I'd hire when I was in charge. There was clearly a time when I thought I might someday be the boss. So, maybe, some part of me did have a feeling I'd failed. But I also had a feeling of success. Because, despite the ups and downs, and the changes and the needs, I might not be the boss of anything, but I am making it work, much as the handyman does each day. Someday, perhaps I will make use of that mental list of people I would hire. For now, I am the boss of nothing, except maybe myself (well, at least some days).

And for today, I guess that's enough.