Far From The Emmy Crowd

I woke from a post-work nap this week to discover that the Daytime Emmy nominations had been announced, with people I know, and with whom I've worked, all over the list. There were multiple soap categories, meaning recognition not just for the people still working on network shows, but for the online trailblazers as well. I really couldn't help but feel that soaps were, perhaps, alive and well again. And I really couldn't help but feel that I was unbelievably far away from their rebirth, that what was once so much in my life was suddenly unbelievably outside of my life. Once upon a time, Emmy season was a huge event in my life--the preparing of submission reels, the waiting and hoping, the excitement or disappointment come nomination time. Yet, now, it has become just the reading of an announcement. Once upon a time, I was a part of the creative process--from pre-production to the control room to the edit room. Now, I am just a spectator.

While I have been working to move on (and perhaps, away) from what was lost, others have been recreating--creating, actually--from those ashes, and with a great deal of hard work, and dedication, and patience, they have succeeded. So, now, at Emmy time, I can't help but ask--where does that leave me? Have I walked so far away that I will never be part of that world again? Or am I simply in the storyline that is working for now? Will my "back story" ever be a "front burner" story for me again, or am I slowly being "written off?"

I am just as happy this Emmy season as I have always been to see talented, good people from my career recognized for their work. But this year, feeling far from the Emmy crowd, I wonder where I will be next Emmy season, and the one after. Will I be inside, or out? Will I be a creator, or just an audience member? I could try to write the long story document, to direct the action the way I'd like the story to unfold, to edit out the parts I'd rather forget. But, as production doesn't always turn out the way you've planned, I may not know right away how my story will progress. I guess I'll just have to stay tuned to find out.