Still Running

In the midst of my running around, trying to accomplish the needs of life and family events, I was reminded to look back a few years at how this running around would have differed. A few years ago, I would have been questioning every penny. A few years ago, the running would likely have been with anxiety rather than euphoria. A few years ago, I would have been beating myself up for running anywhere instead of being at the computer searching job leads and rewriting resumes.

I feel very lucky that a few years ago is a few years ago, and now is now. It is obviously more enjoyable to go through life fueled by euphoria than fueled by anxiety. It is a tremendous relief to focus on the choices, not just the pennies. Yet, as I thank goodness for how things are, I can't help but also be grateful for how things were. There were undeniably unpleasant--more than unpleasant--moments and experiences. There was insecurity--about myself and how I fit in. There were all sorts of questions and challenges that made even everyday accomplishments difficult. But today, reminded of all that, I appreciate the euphoria a little more. Today, with all that making up the "me" I am now, I realize, just a little more clearly, how lucky I am.

We might not wish on anyone certain experiences we've been through, but for us, those experiences, good and bad, inform the person we are today, and give us perspective when we so desperately need it. So, in the midst of my running around, I am reminded of who and where I've been. And of how glad I am that I'm still running.