The Long Haul

Almost without fail, I go to bed earlier than at least one of my children. This actually makes perfect sense, since in the morning, I am up more than an hour earlier than anyone, making sure that everyone will be prepared--food-wise, signed-note-wise, and otherwise--for the day. It's the right thing to do, I know it is, for the greater good and all, but I can't help feeling guilty sometimes when a child is still doing pages of homework as I allow myself to be overcome by sleep.

When I was a kid, I seem to remember my mom staying up till all hours on big project nights, typing for me (it was pre-computer--my typing would have made the project a week overdue), and just offering moral support. I imagine there were some late nights when it was just regular homework, and she wasn't there with me late into the night, but my recollection is of having the company, of her being there for the long haul. My children's recollection will be of my being too tired to think, and being snug in my bed as they got through the last of their schoolwork.

So what does it really mean not to be there for the long haul?

1. It means that I'm not there to perk up a child when she feels she couldn't possibly write another sentence (but given the assignment, she'll be writing more like five more pages).

2. It also means that I am there to wake up said child in the morning, so she can actually get to school with the assignments she stayed up so late to complete.

3. It also, also means that when said child goes off to college, she will know how to do these things without me sitting next to her.

4. It also, also, also means that because I am reasonably (well, sort of) well rested, I will be able to work through assorted other crises with said child, and her assorted siblings. In short, I will be there for the long haul that really matters.

Okay, Mom-1, Guilt-Zero. Clearly, the long haul is about much more than just working the long hours. And when it comes to that real "long haul," I'll be there.