Sunday, June 7, 2015

Happily Alone, Happily Not

I walked alone, and I didn't have to negotiate conflicts or walk faster or slower. But I had no one with whom to share my thoughts and observations.

I shopped alone, and I didn't have to say "no" or "we'll see" or "I'll think about it" every five minutes. But I talked myself out of things that looked good, and I had to push the heavy cart all by myself.

I ate alone, and there was just one dish to clear and a little leftover to put away. But there was no one to comment on the food or the day.

I spent the day home alone, and there was neither noise to interrupt my concentration, nor distraction to upend my work. But the uninterrupted quiet made me sad and the undistracted focus gave me a headache.

I was briefly responsible for no one but myself, which made me feel free, but made me feel kind of lost at the same time.

I sat alone, which gave me a bit of peace, but made me feel very lonely.

I spoke alone, which allowed me to finish a thought, but meant that no one heard it.

I woke up early alone, which gave me time to work and think, but made me wonder why I wasn't cozy and warm like everyone else.

I enjoyed my moments alone, but was glad when I wasn't alone any more...

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