Happy New Year

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins tonight, and I find myself excited and a little scared.  Excited about the feeling of starting a new year, perhaps one that will turn around the series of months that have left me more than a little discouraged.  Scared about the prospect of sitting in temple, listening to the familiar melodies, and having several hours to dwell on all the things I wish were different.  For while the year since last Rosh Hashanah has had many wonderful moments--my daughters' graduations from elementary and middle school, my son's starting a school gifted program, rewarding summer activities, new connections and friendships--it has not exactly been the year I was thinking about last Rosh Hashanah when I knew that soap life was ending and I was eager and confident about all the things I could do going forward.

So I will sit in services hoping to be "written in the Book of Life" for the coming year, looking around at the community of people doing the same, knowing that I am not the only one in the group facing challenges, knowing that my challenges probably pale in comparison to those of some members of that community.

I will sit in services looking for answers that are no more likely to come on Rosh Hashanah than on any other day (perhaps less so, since I won't be home pounding the virtual pavement), but hoping that something about sitting there will make them come.

And I will sit in services at the very least knowing that, in some small way, I am not alone, which some days is half the battle.

Rosh Hashanah readings talk about being written not in the "Book of Work" for the coming year, but in the "Book of Life."  So as I sit in services, I will try to remember that while work was so much of my life for so many years, life can be so much more.  And then maybe, just maybe, by next Rosh Hashanah, there will be a whole new set of stories, full of both work and life.

Happy New Year.