Islands

Today I went with two of my kids to Governor's Island, an odd little spot across the water from Manhattan, reachable by a free ferry.  The adventure, of course, is not free, since once there, you rent bicycles and have lunch.  Nonetheless, it has been a place of fascination for my son ever since his camp had a field trip there last summer, and it is only open from May through September, so on this, the last day of September, we were off!

I could tell you about our biking and the quadricycle my daughter and I struggled to pedal (man, I really thought I was in shape before that!!), and how we got caught in the rain, but truthfully, that's not really why I decided to write a post called "Islands."

Over the last month, I'm sure I have talked at least once about the isolation of not working.  Many hours spent alone, looking for job leads or doing the housework that now falls squarely on you, and a general feeling of battling the financial and emotional stress of the situation alone, an island in a rather unfriendly sea.  Almost as hard, I have learned recently, is choosing not to be an island, in short, asking for help when you need it.  Not being able to do what you want, the way that you used to, makes you feel embarrassed and powerless.  But what I have realized in the moments when I chose not to go it alone, is that asking for help, hard as it may be (and I've certainly cried before, during, and after doing it), may be the most empowering thing you can do.

When I was working as an AD, if a problem arose, I'd go to the people who could help solve it.  If we needed a last minute, unexpected prop, the prop department or the scenic designer.  An actress or director spilled something on her pants--wardrobe.  Someone wasn't feeling quite right--the cameraman who also happened to be a paramedic.  The point is, when I was working, I was never an island.  Why should I be one now?  I still have the job of protecting and supporting my family.  I still have the job of connecting to people so I can get work.  And if asking for help here and there makes those things possible, it is no less important than getting a card with a turkey, not a pumpkin, for the One Life to Live Thanksgiving show.

There is no way any show I've worked on would have happened without many layers of support--a small city, I used to call it.  Asking for help and working together was how it happened.  I may be alone a lot of the time, but I am not alone in this process.  So no more island for me--unless I'm sailing to it on a ferry with my kids.