Through The Motions

I crawl into bed mid-morning after a night of work, because even if I'm not tired right then, I know in my head I need to. And a few minutes later, my body is sound asleep.
 
I follow a daily path to the school where I pick up my child. I barely know what day it is, but my body knows when to go, so I start walking.
 
I direct the starting of homework and oversee the making of dinner, whether or not I really know what I am doing. But what needs to be done needs to be done, so I do it.
 
I read the daily emails that I always read and delete the ones I always delete, because it's just a question of getting through.
 
We are used to seeing "going through the motions" as a bad thing, as if we are not invested, not effective, not doing our best. Yet, sometimes, "going through the motions," because we are tired, or unsure of our next steps, or simply unable to do more, is how we actually accomplish. We move ahead, even when we barely know what's ahead. We do the work, even when we barely know why we're doing it. We take care of, because even unconsciously, we know that is what we need to do.
 
So, on the days when I fear that I am just going through the motions, I remind myself that some motion is better than none at all. And that the motions I've gone through will eventually propel me in the directions I need to go.