Soap Opera

As I pondered what to write about today, I found myself thinking about two things--first, my former One Life to Live producer talking about soap operas needing to be big (like an opera) in their emotion and intensity, and second, several highly emotional songs I had my daughter listen to in preparation for her poetry-writing assignment.

Okay, where to go with all of THAT?!

When my daughter came to me with drafts of several of her poems, I was genuinely impressed with much of them.  I haven't written poetry for quite some time, and they reminded me of a time when I did.  But the note I gave her (hard to lose that soap director language) was "dig a little deeper," and, by golly, she went away and came back with words that really moved me.

I am not an overly emotional person.  When I was at One Life to Live, I used to tell the directors and producers that if I cried at something, it really was moving, and if I laughed, it genuinely was funny.  I didn't "fake it."

Freelancing and job-hunting are not endeavors that favor the emotional.  Too much of a rollercoaster for the job-hunter, and really, what interviewer wants to meet with someone hugely emotional?  And, should you ever walk into a freelance assignment wearing your heart on your sleeve?  Those are things best left for a place where people know you (and perhaps a place where your boss thinks in terms of intense, operatic emotion!) and for blogs like this one.

So, where exactly was I going with the opera and the songs? "Lucky me, I started a blog so I have a place to express emotion while looking for a job?"  Well, yes.  But, no.

The truth is, the emotional rollercoaster of the job search has allowed me to discover all sorts of things about what I like and don't like, what I need, life-wise and work-wise, and where I might fit in the world.  The relatively unemotional part of me may send out the resumes, but in those moments of soap opera and emotional songs, I figure out what the resumes and the interviews and the gigs all mean.  Those are moments I didn't have a lot of time for during long days working on the production of a daily TV show.  Which makes those moments among the very best--and most valuable--parts of this otherwise crazy job search/freelancing adventure.