An Unbalanced Balance

After several last minute school tours (you don't get the "first minute" ones unless you sign up immediately, and, alas, life got in the way of that), we took a deep breath and turned in our "school choice" form. "Choice" here is a relative term, but it is a step in the process, not the last step, but a big one, and we took it.
 
And then I went to work.
 
What we had done seemed monumental--the culmination of research and visits and discussions and (at least for me) angst. And yet, when it was over, I was editing as though nothing had changed, having conversations about current affairs as if nothing had changed, celebrating and bemoaning the same things as always, as if nothing had changed.
 
I guess that's the blessing and the curse of working. Had I been home, I might have been able to think about the process or our choices all day, but surrounded by work colleagues who likely had no interest or investment in the process I had just completed (and why should they?), all I could do was shelve my thoughts and do my work.  At times, that felt like a sad thing. Had I been home, I might have ended up stewing or second-guessing all day, but surrounded by the responsibilities of work, I had little time or brain space for stewing or second-guessing. All I could do was shelve my stewing and do my work. And maybe that was a good thing.
 
Every day, we make personal choices that may affect how we work but can't affect how we are at work. I guess that is just part of the balance--being able to hold the personal strongly enough in our minds that even when we have to put it aside for the professional, we never really let it go. And concentrating enough on the professional that we allow it, when we need, to give us a little relief from the second-guessing of the personal. Most of the time, it is an unbalanced balance, and yet, we manage.
 
I have hope that when the results of our choice form arrive many months from now, I will still be working. (For a person who has been out of work--ever--that is generally the goal). And when that day comes, I will once again face the unbalanced balance. The same way I do now.