While I know that is still weeks before we will have a mailbox full of
thin and fat envelopes from all the college application time and money
we put in months ago, I unlock the small box each day, believing that I
will pull out some good or bad piece of news. Almost more compelling
than my ongoing wish to discover an envelope containing a million dollar
check, this desire is full of so many emotions--concern for where my
daughter will end up and how we'll pay for it, angst about how good a
job we did with the lists and the essays, how the decisions will affect
all of our self-esteem. And perhaps, most of all, the need for relief
from all the limbo.
I suppose we live a lot of our lives in limbo--somehow, always waiting
for information or opportunities we don't yet have. It can be
debilitating--always checking the mailbox, looking around the corner,
wondering what will be. So, while my current love/hate relationship with
my mailbox will be over in a few weeks, the limbo of life will go on,
perhaps indefinitely. And perhaps that is a lesson that both the bound for college and the way beyond college among us just have to learn.
It's just part of getting in...and of getting through.
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