Doing Right By

Does it ever feel as though you are spending your days "doing right by" rather than "making the most of?" Are you "doing right by" your job, or your spouse, or your children (and not just your children as a group, but each child individually)? "Making the most of" can be a challenge, but "doing right by" can be an even more daunting goal.

When you "make the most of," you are simply grasping whatever is out there and appreciating it or working toward it. But if you are trying to "do right by," you can't just grasp--you have to consider how your grasping will affect those around you.

When you "make the most of," you are often looking for the best or the most. But if you are trying to "do right by," the best and the most may be less important than the best for a particular person or the most equitable.

When you "make the most of," your goals feel at least slightly universal--smelling the flowers, tasting the food, experiencing the events. But if you are trying to "do right by," the goals change with each person or job in your life.

When you "make the most of," you can often feel you have accomplished something. But if you are trying to "do right by," it is remarkably easy to feel you have missed the mark.

It is not surprising that we want to do as much as we can as we travel through life. The trick, as I see it, is balancing our attempts to "make the most of" with our responsibility (or just our desire) to "do right by." So that, when all is said and done, we will have made, and given, the most that we possibly can.