Pick Me

My daughters are aspiring actors. Which means they audition. A lot. Whether it's a workshop or a show or a school group or a camp, it seems there are endless opportunities for them to recite a monologue or sing a song or read an audition script.

Many, many of these auditions result in nothing. Much like the job search endeavor, in which hundreds of resumes disappear into the HR abyss, the audition process has you put yourself out there over and over again, often with statistically minimal results. And, much like the job search endeavor, it can be incredibly demoralizing. Yet, as I did (and do) while job-searching, they persist undaunted (well, perhaps not undaunted, but un-crushed), getting the next song or the next monologue ready, looking for their next big opportunity to act.

And while there are inherent similarities between the job search process and the audition process, there is one essential difference. When I was job-searching, it was largely so that I could continue to support my family. They don't have to audition. They are kids--no one says they have to perform, much less make money doing so. Yet, they are possessed by it. Not only the excitement of doing a show, but also the thrill of being chosen, picked, to play a part. And that is something I can definitely understand. How many times, working or not, did I want to be the one picked for the job, the task, the honor? It feels good to picked, especially when you know it wasn't easy for that to happen. So, while I suffer with them through the agonies of all the times they are NOT picked--because they're too tall, too short, too young, too old, too soprano, too pale--I can also see how they put themselves through an endless series of "pick me" situations. The desire to be picked never really goes away, whether it's about livelihood or about self-esteem or just about being allowed to do what you want to do.

Perhaps someday I will see them on the Broadway stage or in a film. For now, I will just be there to pick up the pieces (just as I've picked up my own) when "pick me" doesn't work out quite the way they'd hoped.