Settling In

Starting anything new is hard, and the soaps online endeavor has been no different, both for the production in general and for me personally. But today, somehow, despite a gray start and a slow morning train, I began  to get the feeling we were settling in. Perhaps it was explaining it all to a visiting friend (sometimes you realize while explaining that something is much more clear than it feels with just you in the middle of it). Perhaps it is the fact that there is a scheduled summer hiatus with a scheduled return to work date (schedules tend to lend a feeling of security to things). Perhaps it is feeling that I suddenly know what questions to ask and which people can answer them (unanswered questions tend to lend a feeling of insecurity to things). Perhaps it is a newfound ability to anticipate the snack foods, just a little (though there seem to be surprise offerings every day). And, above all, perhaps it is beginning to know not just what I need but what I can live without, and being able to make the choices and requests to ensure that I manage both of these.

I haven't hung a sweater on a hook yet, or left a spare pair of shoes or hung my personal pictures on the walls. "Settling in" in today's world isn't what it used to be. And that's okay. For now, I'll settle for settling in without settling down.