Fully Engaged

Yesterday, we attended a performance at my daughter's musical theater workshop. Halfway through the series of scenes and songs, it occurred to me that I was not photographing or videotaping any of it. For a person used to recording everything, whether on video camera or with just an iPhone, this was unheard of--what kind of parent am I? Yet, I found myself so caught up in the performance, I just wasn't thinking "record for posterity." And after a moment of "bad parent" pause, I was actually glad. Glad to be enjoying the performance rather than sweating the video quality. Glad to be watching singing and dancing full size rather than on a tiny video screen. 

There's nothing wrong with capturing life's every move on video. It's nice to be able to look back on things we might not remember so clearly or have a record of how kids, who grow so fast, used to be. What I discovered yesterday, however, was how nice it was just to be in the moment, appreciating what I was seeing without worrying about having that moment on tape (or memory card) forever (or worrying that the card would fill or the battery would die). So often, we are so consumed with the keeping that we miss the enjoying. So wrapped up in the technical that we miss the beautiful.

I will not be able to watch my daughter's performance again. I will have to count on my memories of that performance to take me back, and that's okay. I was there--not as a camera person, but as a fully engaged audience member. And sometimes, that's even better.