Hack

Several years ago, my husband and I had a subscription to the symphony. Nothing huge, just a few concerts a year, but every few months we would meet at the concert hall and for a few hours, the classical music would wash over us.
 
While it was a lovely, relaxing experience, I remember always coming out feeling as though I was a hack. Here were these musicians who obviously had talent and clearly worked hours daily to nurture and develop that talent. They could learn and master new, very long, complicated pieces weekly, and look really good playing them. What was it again that I was doing with my life?
 
This weekend, at my kids' piano recital, I couldn't help feeling that way again. Now, I know from my own kids that the kids I saw probably don't practice nearly as much as the symphony members. Yet, here were these kids, my own included, who could make their two hands do two different things simultaneously. Who could memorize complex series of fingering patterns that made beautiful music. I'm not sure I could have done any of that at their age, and I am quite sure I couldn't do any of it now.
 
This is not a "feel sorry for myself" blog. We each make choices throughout our lives that ultimately determine what we can do, and what we can do REALLY well. Playing an instrument was not among my choices, so I listen rather than play. And, while I may be a hack where classical music is concerned, there's nothing really wrong with that, as long as I am dedicated to the things I HAVE chosen, and as long as I make a very appreciative audience for the people who have chosen to play, and play well. I suppose most of us feel like hacks at some point in our lives. It's what we do to make sure we're really not that makes the difference.