Older

When my kids were small, I used to pride myself on the fact that I could work well because I left home at home (and that I could be a good mom because I at least tried to leave work at work). And this was largely successful, because I had a good babysitter who ran the show during the hours when I couldn't, and cared for my babies as if they were her own. I may have missed a milestone here and there, but it was a setup that seemed to work.
 
You would think that the split would be easier as the kids get older. After all, there is no more worry about whether a baby will drink enough ounces or decide to start walking when you are at work. There is no more fear that you will miss your toddler's pricelessly adorable performance at preschool. Your kids can take care of much more on their own. Simpler, right?
 
Not so simple. Older means independent. So, there is not a sitter running the show every day. There are multiple kids with multiple agendas with multiple cell phones to call you at work multiple times to ask your advice on the agendas. Older means it is no longer just your opinion that counts, since nothing ever has a straight yes or no answer. Older means too old to clean up after but then living with mess. Older means it's not enough just to leave a note about how the week should go and expect it to go that way. Older=simpler? Not at all.
 
I am little by little negotiating a balance, a balance that factors in not only older kids, but a freelance life as well. Because while kids may change, when work changes too, that balance is not just about them. It's about me as well, so I'd better keep up.
 
Because they just keep getting older.