Missed

It used to be that when I went away for the winter holidays, it was because One Life to Live was dark. I wasn't working, but no one else was either. When I came back, we all came back, comparing notes about our holidays and time off.

Things are different now. In a freelance world, there is always something going on. I know, mostly from Facebook, that some of my former colleagues worked in Times Square for New Year's. I know that others of my friends worked right down to the wire of holidays and for much of the time in between. And I know that life went on where I've been working. I just missed it.

It's a funny thing coming back after a long time, knowing that things have gone on without you. It can be every freelancer's nightmare--will things have gone so well without you that taking off will have been the biggest mistake you ever made? Will drama have happened while you were gone that will make you woefully uninformed once you are back?

Or will it be every freelancer's dream--that perhaps you will return to the happy news that you actually were missed--that both your work and your personality mattered? That while life may have gone on, there is still plenty of life left for you to come back to?

"Going back" (see yesterday's blog) filled me with great anticipation, even dread. As it turns out, "missed" was on my side. For, while there were things I missed, I was missed as well. I came back to a place where apparently my work and personality do matter. And where missing something doesn't mean losing something.

Sometimes, when you're afraid you have missed the point, or the boat, or the opportunity, it turns out you have not missed much at all. And what you've gained is a whole lot more than what you've missed.