Over the last few weeks, I have watched, in person and via Facebook, two of my friends deal with profound losses in their lives. I am normally a forge-ahead kind of person, but these events, though not really part of my own life, have stopped me in my tracks.
Bad things happen every day, I know. Big bad things, and little bad things that, in the moment, we consider big. So why is it that these particular events have hit me so hard?
Perhaps it is their juxtaposition with my unemployed/employed drama--they make the intensity of that seem excessive. After all, when I struggled to maintain both a healthy bank account and healthy self-esteem, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by healthy family members who propped me up when I needed it. My tears were tears of missing and frustration, but not tears of irreparable loss.
Perhaps it is the devotion I saw my friends exhibit to their loved ones. Who among us, with busy lives and hours worth of mundane concerns, really does right by those we love when it matters most? Yet, I saw my friends do that, and it moved me--and made me hope that I could-and would-do the same.
And perhaps it is my imagining of the kind of emptiness that I am watching them feel. For, while I have experienced loss of one kind or another, I am fortunate not to have had to feel that kind of loss first hand. Even so, it hurts to imagine what you could lose when you least expect it.
I will, as usual, forge ahead--what else can I do--and I hope that the passage of time and the support of good friends, Facebook and otherwise, will help my friends through these hardest of days. As just an observer in it all, I can say that watching them handle both the caring and the loss has given me some much-needed perspective, and a whole lot of gratitude for all the good in my life. And, as they are healing, I hope they know how much of a difference the depth of their feelings has made for those of us just watching. There is loss, but there are memories too, and neither will be forgotten.
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