Turning on a Dime

It's almost impossible to believe that at this time a year ago, I was spending whole days at home, reluctant to go out (because going out inevitably cost money), going on class field trips and meeting school buses, and writing a series of kids' books, in the hope of getting them published or made into an educational TV show. It's almost impossible to believe that a year ago, I was claiming unemployment benefits each Monday morning and was in the "will I ever work again?" frame of mind that led to my first job in the reality TV world. It's almost impossible to believe how things can turn on a dime.
 
I have gone from being more present than my kids probably wanted me to be to virtually absent in their weekday lives. I have gone from incapable of paying any bills to eager to pay them all. I have gone from sighing and crying on a fairly regular basis to being so tired some days that I feel nothing at all.
 
Things have changed so quickly and so dramatically that it's hard to believe that unemployment, complete with Internet searches and command performance visits to the Department of Labor and networking coffees, even happened. Yet, I know--from the way I am committed, even on the bad days, from my acceptance of the change to my family's life (and their acceptance too), and from my ability to sleep very little and still be productive--that the year of unemployment lives inside me, and likely will, even if this gig lasts a long time.
 
I've learned this year that things can turn on a dime, and that the course of history can change just as fast. But, for better or for worse, the history remains a part of us. As well it should.