Wound and Wound

I sometimes think that years ago, when my job was regular, and my hours were regular, and paying the bills was regular, and a babysitter came on a regular schedule, that things were simple, that I passed the days in calm and contentment.
 
Hindsight is a blurry endeavor, isn't it?
 
There are reasons these days that I wake up wired (good wired and bad), that I walk around not quite sure of the days, not quite certain about the choices I've made, not quite able to unwind. And yet, when I turn my head far enough back to see to those "good old days," I remember the mornings I woke up anxious about working with certain actors or directors, worried that my best wasn't good enough, concerned about not being home in time to witness a kid moment. When I look back at what was, I realize that while quite different from what is, and perhaps more stable, it was still capable of making me wound tight or going in circles. The truth is, when we allow ourselves to invest in life, there will always be times when life puts us on a merry-go-round. There will always be occasions that turn our heads around and make our stomachs tight. The only way (and I'm not even sure that this works) to avoid the wound and wound is to sit one out. And how many of us, when given the choice, would really choose to sit out?
 
So, there will be days, perhaps many of them, when I will feel wound a little tight, and spun a little fast. And I could get off this merry-go-round, just to slow things down a bit. The question is, would I really want to?