Clear Any More

I used to think that if I had work, that would keep me up, and if I didn't, that would bring me down. But up and down are not always so clear any more.
 
I used to think that if I accomplished everything on my list, that would bring me up, and if I ended the day having accomplished nothing, that would bring me down. But everything and nothing are not always so clear any more.
 
I used to think that hearing "yes" would bring me up, and hearing "no" would bring me down. And that is sometimes true. But "yes" and "no" are not always so clear any more.
 
I used to think that if I got what I wanted, I would be happy, and if I didn't, I wouldn't. But happy and unhappy are not always so clear any more.
 
I used to think that thinking about today would keep me steady, and that thinking too much about yesterday and tomorrow would throw me off balance. But yesterday and today and tomorrow are not always so clear any more.
 
I used to think that I could be clear on things if I focused hard enough, tried hard enough. But clear is, well, not always so clear any more...